


Pain

by Croatoanvirus2014



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 14:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6199480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croatoanvirus2014/pseuds/Croatoanvirus2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen if Jasper took the pill to the City of Light?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pain

**Author's Note:**

> jfc this was painful to write i'll have you know i almost cried, but i was thinking about the possibility of jasper taking the pill for the city of light and how he would probably forget monty and this happened. it has a happy ending tho

            Monty realized the marked change in Jasper days after Maya’s death. He knew that he was in pain, that he was hurting, that he felt like complete and total shit. It was hard to not know when he drank himself into oblivion nearly every night and isolated himself from everybody that cared about him. He had tried to help him a few times, had taken the insults, had gotten somebody to carry him to bed when he was blackout drunk and couldn’t walk, had even found medicine a few times to help with the migraines he got from hangovers that weren’t immediately chased down with another chug of moonshine. Monty knew that things were going to be rough, their friendship would suffer, and the next few months would be terrible. However, he never expected the existence of a pill that would, in theory, eliminate pain. He did, however, completely expect Jasper to take it. Monty never expected what this magic pill of sorts would cause.

            “Hey, Jas’, how you feeling?” Monty asked him seconds after he took the pill.

            “I, uh,” Jasper paused, vaguely remembering who this person was in front of him. He knew they were friends, or at least used to be, but his memory seemed blurred and starting to fade away, “I’m feeling a lot better actually, thanks for asking,” He let a small, reassuring smile slip out and comfortingly placed one hand on the other boy’s shoulder, letting him know he was okay, happy even.

            “I’m just glad Maya’s death isn’t dragging you down as much anymore,” Monty commented, breathing a sigh of relief that Jasper was starting to seem back to his old self. What he didn’t catch in those seconds of relief was the confused look on Jasper’s face as he tried to dig up any memory of this girl, whoever she was. Then again, he really didn’t want to remember this person, especially since her death, according to this person, seemed to drag him down and make him feel pain. Pain. It was something he knew existed, theoretically, but he couldn’t remember what it felt like. He grinned.

            “Same here, I know it was terrible, and I’m glad that this pill is helping,” Jasper replied, terrible being a huge understatement.

            Monty gave him a pat on the back and walked away to go grab a drink, concerned at how little Jasper seemed to care about Maya’s death. He knew he had to remember her, had to remember how bad her death fucked him up. He was almost irritated by the word “terrible.” It was much worse than that. It was horrific, and he hadn’t forgotten that even after months of being home. He started thinking back to their conversation, tried to think if there was anything else strange that Jasper said or did that could signal something wrong. Monty sighed. He had just seemed so happy, almost too happy, that he hadn’t cared at the moment to really observe him. He decided at that moment he was going to keep a close eye on him for the next few days, and was definitely going to get some help from Abby and Miller to do so, knowing that those two would probably help, even if nobody else would. Besides, they were some of the people that had opted out of taking the drugs, so he could at the very least still trust their judgment.

            The sunrise in the sky was a beautiful sight to behold, Monty thought. He woke up bright and early that morning, partially so he could get first dibs on breakfast, partially so he could make sure Jasper wasn’t experiencing any odd side effects, and also so he could talk to Miller about his plan. Miller and he had grown a bit closer since Mount Weather, usually eating breakfast together and sometimes going out on trips to search for supplies. They talked about whatever came to mind, which was how he had found out Miller had a boyfriend on Farm Station, and they had both talked about how they hoped their loved ones on Farm Station were still alive, which they both eventually found out was the case. Monty took his seat at his usual table, grabbed a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes, and waited for Miller to arrive. Miller arrived approximately two minutes later, looking tired as could be, and Monty gave him a wave as he walked over to sit down across from him, cup of coffee in hand.

            “Mornin’,” Miller mumbled. He didn’t mind mornings, but always found it hard to fully wake up until about noon, or until he had his usual cup of coffee.

            “Hey,” Monty responded, “I know it’s early to be talking about plans, but I need your help in making sure Jasper’s okay. He seems sort of, off, you know?” He paused for a second before realizing he was really the only person that had talked to Jasper after he had taken the pill, “Okay, you probably don’t know… But he seemed to almost forget Maya’s death and how he’d been acting the past few months and it just seems really weird and I don’t know what to do,” He finished, watching Miller’s face to see his reaction.

            “Alright, I’ll make sure to try to keep an eye on him,” He shrugged before taking a small sip of coffee so hot it almost burned his tongue at first.

            “Thanks,” Monty said, extremely appreciative that he still had some friends left in Arkadia.

            “It’s no problem,” Miller replied.

            Right around sunset, the usual fire had been started in the middle of Arkadia. It was the one tradition they would always keep, even if they had been finding other ways to keep the camp warm and they now had a few houses that could easily be slept in. It was something that still united all of them together. Monty took his usual spot next to Miller and Bryan, and was the normal three seats away from Jasper. It was too far away and yet not far enough all at the same time. He had dealt with so much from Jasper recently that he wanted to hate him at times, and sometimes, he did. Most of the time, he couldn’t help but pity him. So, three seats away it was. Jasper came around about half an hour later, the typical glass of alcohol suddenly not present anymore. Monty shrugged, figuring it was progress. He even motioned for him to come over and sit next to him, and kindly asked Monroe if they wouldn’t mind moving over a bit.

            “No problem at all, I was probably going to go check up on Harper soon anyways, see what she’s been up to,” They told him, giving him a smile and a wave goodbye as they stood up. Jasper plopped down next to Monty, a small smile permanently stuck on his face. It reminded him of when he used to get high on the Ark all the time, although he couldn’t recall who he always got high with.

            “Wow, that pill must really be working some wonders on you,” Monty commented, giving him a pat on the back, heart filled to the brim with joy from seeing Jasper genuinely happy for the first time in forever.

            “Jaha’s right, it really is the key,” Jasper responded instantly, almost machine-like.

            “Hey, whatever it is, I’m happy for you,” Monty replied, pulling Jasper in for a warm, tight hug. He almost started sobbing on Jasper’s shoulder, not believing that he finally had his best friend back. That belief was proven to be true the second he pulled away from the hug the second he saw Jasper’s surprised face.

            “What was that for?” He asked, tilting his head. Monty felt his stomach drop and gulped slowly, already being able to tell he was going to cry at any moment. He felt his eyes watering and dismissed himself, telling Jasper he would talk to him later. He ran into his tent and started sobbing, his jacket sleeves soaked in all the tears he had shed. He let himself fall apart for the first time since they had gotten back to camp, let himself feel all the pain he had built up inside him, all the sadness that would sometimes pop up out of nowhere and keep him confined to his tent all day (sometimes he could share these days with Harper, since they had both been through too much), and he felt destroyed. Monty was certain Jasper had no idea who he was anymore. He slept through most of the day, feeling exhausted after crying so much, and woke up to see the sunset. He was getting desperate for a way to make Jasper remember him. He had to. He couldn’t lose his best friend again. He thought of an idea that wasn’t the best, but hey, desperate times called for desperate measures.

            Monty walked up to Jasper, eyes no linger tinged with red, and gave him a huge smile, trying to conceal any hint of sadness.

            “Hey!” Jasper exclaimed happily upon seeing him, still not quite recalling who this person was. He seemed to be his friend? Best friend? Lover? Jasper couldn’t tell who he was supposed to be to him, but he was apathetic towards not being able to remember.

            Monty let actions speak louder than words as he pressed a light kiss to Jasper’s lips, hoping that this would make him remember who he was. Remember the nights they had spent on the Ark in each other’s rooms, getting high together and Monty always falling asleep in Jasper’s lap. Remember how they had been best friends nearly since birth, and how Jasper always used to tease Monty about how he was still five hours older than him. Remember how he was the first one that Monty told he was gay to; remember how Jasper had shrugged it off while returning to the chemistry project they had been working on. Remember how Monty had once given him a quick kiss on the cheek when they were fourteen and how Jasper had smiled and ruffled Monty’s hair because he wasn’t uncomfortable at all and didn’t want to make Monty think that he was. Remember how the first time they had smoked weed together they accidentally ended up kissing in a haze, and how natural it had felt. Remember how they had always been by each other’s side, even in the dropship down to the ground. Remember, well, everything, even the bad parts.

            Jasper kissed back, his memories flooding back in, causing him to start crying, forcing him to pull back from the kiss.

            “Hey,” Jasper said in between shaky breaths, pulling Monty into a hug, feeling home at last. Monty smiled as he pulled back from the hug, walking with Jasper back to their tent they were still sharing.

            Both of them sat on the floor, not even knowing what to say. Monty felt more relieved than he had in months, and Jasper’s real smile, not the fake grin the drug gave him, was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Monty suggested that they go to sleep and Jasper agreed, figuring that they could talk through everything in the morning. Monty moved both of their beds towards each other, combining them to form one huge bed covered in blankets (including Monty’s favorite orange fuzzy blanket). Jasper gave Monty a kiss on the forehead like it was the easiest thing in the world, and Monty wrapped his arms around Jasper’s waist as they fell asleep to the nicest rest they had possibly ever had. For the first time in three months, both of them felt at home.

**Author's Note:**

> true love's kiss fixes everything because i couldn't let this end in pain okay. hope you enjoyed the fic!!


End file.
